Post by acaciakabal on Dec 23, 2014 16:53:45 GMT -5
Almost Christmas. Almost alive, almost sane, almost got it under control. The very thought of having control over anything made her nearly laugh. Nothing. She had control of NOT SHIT and instead of being terrified by it, she was *almost* relieved. That might be reason enough to be afraid, that the Scribe wasn't trying to 'fix' things that were outof her control. Oh she still wanted answers, logic, a reason for things that made no sense but...she didn't have to control it. At least, she was trying to give in to the freedom of that feeling.
She had time with Summer, to talk and spend time together. The closeness they always had was damaged not only by her long absence but before her death with the way she had pushed everyone away. That's the problem with living a lie when it's not in your soul to lie to those you love...you push them away thinking they can't see the truth, so you don't have to lie, you avoid them.Summer was angry with her and for good reason. But forgiveness was a part of the hippie that shined so easily.
There was even a small bit of time she had with Raven, her favorite pirate. He too had granted her forgivness, and no one would ever quite understand how much that meant to her. Years ago, Raven had placed a peice of his heart within her, bringing her to life after a goddess had taken possession of the Scribe and ended her life (For those with a tally, being impaled was her first death). With that gift he had given her magic, a mental link to him and --recently discovered-- a mental link with Dragons. At that point in time she took the gift for granted, did not even fully explore the potential within the gift he had given her. No...she felt herself hurting and instead of embracing her potential and Raven's comfort...she pushed him away, closed herself off and told herself that it was best.Now? Now she wanted to discover how their friendship would evolve now that she better understood.
In this life, without the residual hell of taking her own life (that was #2), she was reborn not only with peace of those sins repaid, but the need for vengance, victory, and freedom. She wanted her murderer to suffer and die at her hand. She wanted her power within New York back, and more of it. She wanted the freedom of living a life based on honesty. As we all know, honesty is not a beautiful flower blooming in every garden. Sometimes it is painful, cruel, bold. Other times it reveals weakness, tenderness, love, need, desire. But she was determined that no longer would she hide.
Tejar...gods help that man, he just might need it. Christmas week, many many years ago, Acacia Gray Lucas had strolled on into a bar, flirted with the most amazing man she'd ever seen, won a date with him at auction and then promptly tried to walk right out of his life. The man was dangerous. She had taken one long look in those golden eyes and knew those eyes could either make her the queen of her world or her ultimate destruction. That he could mean everything. And THAT had not been what she wanted, no one would have that power over her EVVVEEER. Fuckssake she was so arrogant. Twisted, tried, lived, died, lied like hell and avoided him more than any one person could, really. And now, all she needed where he was concerned was for himto know the truth. That he had been the best thing she never let herself have. She wanted a whole hellova lot more,especially now that she knew how he felt. But need?Yeah she needed him to understand that her love for him wasn't a simple thing, nor a singular definition of that word.
She loved him as a friend, the kind that you call at 2 am because you can't sleep and their voice makes the world make sense. As a lover, the reckless, public scene making,bite marks and room shaking screams sort. As a partner, do or die til the end, she wanted to help make New York what it was supposed to be, he had the key, she wanted to give him the door. Confidant, sparring partner, mischief maker, dirty pool playin' pain in the ass. Over time, he'd understand, she hoped.
Sometimes, she'd catch herself lost in thought, making mental to do lists:
* Catch up on all the effin paper work
* Make new identity for outside of HOL
* Visit the Marketplace in Egypt,wtf have I never?
* Find Rei, play out all favorite forms of torture found in the tomes
* Ask about having a harem that double as assistant scribes of the house. Potential there.
*Work on magic
*Find loophole about killing
*Mani - Pedi with Scribbles
*Find Ol Nanny
So...thelist varried from time to time, but as it stood, she was pretty sure she'd be busy for a while. Life. Is. Good.
She had time with Summer, to talk and spend time together. The closeness they always had was damaged not only by her long absence but before her death with the way she had pushed everyone away. That's the problem with living a lie when it's not in your soul to lie to those you love...you push them away thinking they can't see the truth, so you don't have to lie, you avoid them.Summer was angry with her and for good reason. But forgiveness was a part of the hippie that shined so easily.
There was even a small bit of time she had with Raven, her favorite pirate. He too had granted her forgivness, and no one would ever quite understand how much that meant to her. Years ago, Raven had placed a peice of his heart within her, bringing her to life after a goddess had taken possession of the Scribe and ended her life (For those with a tally, being impaled was her first death). With that gift he had given her magic, a mental link to him and --recently discovered-- a mental link with Dragons. At that point in time she took the gift for granted, did not even fully explore the potential within the gift he had given her. No...she felt herself hurting and instead of embracing her potential and Raven's comfort...she pushed him away, closed herself off and told herself that it was best.Now? Now she wanted to discover how their friendship would evolve now that she better understood.
In this life, without the residual hell of taking her own life (that was #2), she was reborn not only with peace of those sins repaid, but the need for vengance, victory, and freedom. She wanted her murderer to suffer and die at her hand. She wanted her power within New York back, and more of it. She wanted the freedom of living a life based on honesty. As we all know, honesty is not a beautiful flower blooming in every garden. Sometimes it is painful, cruel, bold. Other times it reveals weakness, tenderness, love, need, desire. But she was determined that no longer would she hide.
Tejar...gods help that man, he just might need it. Christmas week, many many years ago, Acacia Gray Lucas had strolled on into a bar, flirted with the most amazing man she'd ever seen, won a date with him at auction and then promptly tried to walk right out of his life. The man was dangerous. She had taken one long look in those golden eyes and knew those eyes could either make her the queen of her world or her ultimate destruction. That he could mean everything. And THAT had not been what she wanted, no one would have that power over her EVVVEEER. Fuckssake she was so arrogant. Twisted, tried, lived, died, lied like hell and avoided him more than any one person could, really. And now, all she needed where he was concerned was for himto know the truth. That he had been the best thing she never let herself have. She wanted a whole hellova lot more,especially now that she knew how he felt. But need?Yeah she needed him to understand that her love for him wasn't a simple thing, nor a singular definition of that word.
She loved him as a friend, the kind that you call at 2 am because you can't sleep and their voice makes the world make sense. As a lover, the reckless, public scene making,bite marks and room shaking screams sort. As a partner, do or die til the end, she wanted to help make New York what it was supposed to be, he had the key, she wanted to give him the door. Confidant, sparring partner, mischief maker, dirty pool playin' pain in the ass. Over time, he'd understand, she hoped.
Sometimes, she'd catch herself lost in thought, making mental to do lists:
* Catch up on all the effin paper work
* Make new identity for outside of HOL
* Visit the Marketplace in Egypt,wtf have I never?
* Find Rei, play out all favorite forms of torture found in the tomes
* Ask about having a harem that double as assistant scribes of the house. Potential there.
*Work on magic
*Find loophole about killing
*Mani - Pedi with Scribbles
*Find Ol Nanny
So...thelist varried from time to time, but as it stood, she was pretty sure she'd be busy for a while. Life. Is. Good.